Straight Cash Homey
 There is no truer proclamation of fandom than purchasing a spanking new jersey with your favorite player's name on the back. But these purchases are fraught with peril. A player can be traded at the whim of capricious management. A player can turn out to be a one-season sensation. Or a player can have his personal life take an unfortunate turn.
A commitment has been made. Do you store the jersey in a forgotten corner of your closet? Or do you stick with the jersey and wear it with pride? The dudes behind Straight Cash Homey are hoping for the latter. Amir Blumenfeld and Ethan Trex are documenting unfortunate jersey choices on their humorous photo blog. Their mission is to turn "life into a random jersey scavenger hunt." We giggled as we browsed through the site, and we knew we had to find out more about the men behind this mission. Amir and Ethan were nice enough to join us for a chat about undercover photography, awful jerseys, and crummy players forever immortalized on the backs of fans... Hey guys, who hatched the idea for Straight Cash Homey? Ethan: Amir. Next question. No, Amir had the idea to make it a blog, but we'd been playing around with the idea for a couple of years. We'd call each other when we saw a jersey that was funny. Did you guys take pictures of jerseys and send them back and forth to each other? Amir: Yeah, mostly camera-phone pictures. Then eventually real pictures. Ethan: Our next plan is to advance to doing paintings and then shipping them to each other. Wow. So here is our Barbara Walters question—if you could paint a jersey, what would you paint? Ethan: Rony Seikaly wearing a Bimbo Coles Heat jersey. Dunking on a guy wearing a Mitch Richmond Kings jersey. Amir: If I could paint a jersey I would retire and just spend my days painting jerseys. I would start with the number one on my wish list: Vinny Del Negro in a Spurs jersey. Back away from the canvas. Do you have to be stealthy when snapping a picture? Ethan: You do have to be stealthy. It's not so hard since you're taking pics of peoples' backs. But you don't want to get caught. Amir: One trick I use is to pretend to take a picture of a friend and have the guy in the background. I did that with a couple we've used on the site. Ethan: I usually act like I'm taking a picture of a building or something else above the person, then pulling the camera down to see how the pic looked. Then I really take the picture. Nice technique. Have you ever been busted? Ethan: No, I think people around me have wondered why I was running with a camera to catch up to someone in a Freddie Mitchell jersey, but an actual subject has never caught me. Where is it most dangerous to attempt this covert photography? Ethan: Well, at games it's easy because everyone's focused on the field and won't see you taking their picture. The most dangerous place is probably a sports bar. It's hard to get a good angle, and it's easier to get spotted. Plus, people have been drinking. Amir: And on a subway. Bad lighting, close proximity... nowhere to run. When did you guys start the site? Ethan: We'd done another blog of one-line sports jokes using the same name for a couple of years, but the jersey version started on July 31st of this year. Amir: Our first photo was Jason Williams, Memphis Grizzlies. I found him at Coney Island. Ethan: White Chocolate never goes out of style. What's the origin of the site's name? Ethan: It's a quote from Randy Moss. He had been fined, and a reporter asked him about paying it. Apparently when you're rich, you don't write checks. You pay in straight cash, homey. Amir: Man that guy is so cool. Ethan: I look up to him more than I do my dad. Do you guys divide the work on the site fifty-fifty? Ethan: Amir does all the design work and resizes/crops the photos, so he probably has it harder than I do. I don't think we've ever disagreed on captions or pictures to run, though. So you write the captions, Ethan? Ethan: No, we write those together. Amir: Ethan also runs the email account, responding to submitters, etc. So at the end it does become a 50/50 split. Ethan: We try to go through our queue of pictures each morning and find one that's timely, then we write a caption for it and post it. How did you two meet? Ethan: We originally met through writing for CollegeHumor.com a few years ago, then we co-wrote two books for CollegeHumor together, co-wrote a book for ESPN, and work for ESPN the Magazine together. People think we're friends, so don't tell Amir that I secretly don't like him. Is it appropriate to wear a jersey any place other than a sporting event? Amir: Sure! The gym, a friends house, weddings, bar-mitzvahs. Pretty much anywhere it's acceptable to go topless. Ethan: I think it's always appropriate. A lot of people say you can't wear one to a funeral, but as long as it's predominantly black, it's fine. I'm thinking something like a Steve Smith, Heat jersey would be formal enough. Amir: Vince Evans, Raiders is perfect for mourners. We'd opt for the Jeff George, Raiders... Amir: You're a classier man than I. Ethan: That would just make people even sadder. Speaking of sad, do you guys have any jerseys lurking in your closet? Amir: I have an Antoine Walker, Celtics at my parents house. He was the cornerstone of my 7th grade fantasy team. I loved employee number 8. Ethan: I've got a Dom Hasek, Sabres and a ridiculous black Bill Pulsipher, Mets. Generation K never ended for me. What did you guys make of the whole throwback jersey craze of a couple years ago? Amir: I thought anybody who spends $400 on a Wes Unseld Bullets jersey is either crazy or rich. I'll take a Rod Strickland Bullets jersey over Wes any day of the week. What's the worst looking jersey ever made? Ethan: The mid-90's Cleveland Cavs one with the sponge paint stripe on the back is the worst ever, I think. Amir: The worst looking jerseys are also the best. Like that neon green throwback the Hawks wear sometimes. That's terrible and awesome at the same time. Yeah, that pic of the Shawn Kemp Cavs jersey on Straight Cash is horrible yet beautiful... Amir: Good times. Ethan: I'm dying to find a Dan Majerle like that. Amir: I'm dying to find Dan Majerle period. Are you guys uniform obsessed? Do you read Uni Watch? Amir: We are nowhere near as obsessed as Paul Lukas. We are probably more obsessed with slightly outdated sports memorabilia than we are about uniforms. Ethan: No, I think we're more obsessed with remembering crummy old players. But I do read Uni Watch; Paul Lukas' research is so precise it always amazes me. Yeah, he does nice work. Maybe I shoulda interviewed him instead of you two clowns... Ethan: Man, I could have told you that before we even started. How many submissions do you guys get? Ethan: Oh, it varies. They always spike when we put up a Page 2 column. We normally get 5-10 submissions a day, of which one or two are something that would fit on the blog. So what's your message to like-minded fans? Go forth with a camera and start snapping? Amir: Take a camera everywhere you go. Or failing that, a camera phone. We would like to turn your life into a random jersey scavenger hunt. And if you do find something great, send it to us! Ethan: Yes, anyone can get on the site. All you need is a camera and a willingness to run after strangers. We're taught to run away from strangers. You're urging folks to run toward them? Amir: As long as they're not offering you candy. Ethan: Or even if they're offering you candy but have an honest face. What submission would make you weep with joy? Amir: Cliff Livingston, Bulls. Or Sedale Threatt, Lakers. Ethan: Dickey Simpkins, Bulls is my ultimate. Amir: Doug Pederson, Packers would also be pretty awesome. Or Toni Kukoc, Bucks. There's too many to name! Thanks guys! We encourage everyone to be on the lookout for humorous jersey sightings.
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