Ever since The New York Times opened its archives to one and all, journalist Jeremy Olshan has jubilantly mined its riches "to prove that everything news is old." Derek Jeter strays into a tax mess? Big whoop! The ball players and umps from 1919 found themselves in a just such a brouhaha. Alarmed over reports of a tsunami smacking the East Coast? Readers were similarly rattled, back in 1878. School officials and teachers tussle over tenure? Yeah, we've heard it before—the year we entered World War I. And, just to prove the steadiness of the New York character, a recent post covering "umbrella umbrage" on Manhattan's sidewalks reminds us that "New Yorkers have been whining in the rain for more than 75 years." Thank heavens for a little consistency.