Holiday Party Excuse Generator
Dear  host, We're sad to say that we're unable to attend your spiffy yuletide shindig, as swanky or "Martha Stewart" or debauched as it may be. In struggling to come up with a plausible reason, we consulted the ultimate justifier of fiesta fatigue, the Holiday Party Excuse Generator. It inquired about our feelings towards you ("warm and fuzzy"? "mild disdain"?). It questioned how badly we wanted to avoid the party (we leaned toward "with every fiber of (our) being"). It asked what tone should be employed in the explanation ("snippiness" sounded appropriate). And then it wondered how believable we needed the response to be. At this point, the darling snowman guiding us along sprouted the longest, carroty schnoz we'd ever seen. We selected the Pinocchio rejoinder. It said: Hide behind the curtains in your house and nibble on Rice Krispies. And that, dear host, is what we will be doing. Fa-la-la-la-blah,
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