Welcome to the week's selection of Picks, where we're ready to expose a thing or two. See, after doing our 3,476th keyword video search on the Clinton testimony (someone told us that the Pr esident mentions Uncle Chester, and besides, keyword searching video is cool), we realized something profound. There are other things going on in the world! Other outrages, indiscretions, deceits. And the world's been so caught up in this one particular s candal that it no longer sees the forest for the other scandals. Well, ladies and gentleman, we're ready to change that. It's time do some logging.
For example, how many of you have heard about the scandal behind the scandal? That the grand-jury questioning of Monica Lewinsky was conducted entirely by artficial intelligence? It's true! Monica's story was extracted by the same Web-based AI computer pr ogram that runs Twenty Questions. See for yourself. Pick an animal, vegetable, mineral, or presidential indiscretion and answer the site's sometimes-straightforward, sometimes-strange queries to the best of your abi lity. Chances are good (okay, actually only 4.9%) that the AI will come up with the right answer. Even more fascinating than the current rate of success is the possibility that the site's knowledgebase will grow and get better, until finally it can always deduce what you're thinking in less than 20 questions. When that happens, the Independent Counsel may very well be out of a job. No wonder they're trying to keep this under wraps.
Speaking of coverups, recently we were all set to break the lid off the big Robert De Niro bruhaha. We'd been informed that the star of Taxi Driver and Cape Fear was about to appear in Rodin, an action-adventure flick based on the life of famed French sculptor, Auguste Rodin. But after we compared the movie's trailer, full of high-speed car chases and shoulder-launched guided missiles, to information contained at Museé Rodin, we noticed several glaring historical inaccuracies. Number one, Rodin was known for his striking human figures, such as "The Thinker" and the "Gates of Hell," not fo r his ability of drop sardonic one-liners while aerating high-paid hitmen with a Glock-9. Number two, Rodin was intimately involved with fellow sculptor Camille Claudel, not a sexy Irish paramilitary typ e named Deirdre. We had dozens more inconsistencies all laid out. But then management convenienently mothballed the entire exposé and insisted that we see an optometrist instead. We suspect that De Niro somehow "got to them," but we're still trying to prove it.
Then there's this: A couple days ago we found the following story on page B27 of the New York Times. In any other news environment, at worst the piece would've been on page B24. "MIDDLE EARTH (Reute rs) - Hobbit Munegond Wuggins ("Mungo" for short) was detained yesterday and questioned extensively about a rash of clover-tramplings that have been reported in the Shire over the past several weeks. After Wuggins' release, Lieutenant Commissioner Merlor the Ancient One held a short press conference and was quoted as saying, 'We have several solid leads and continue to pursue them vigorously. Currently, Mr. Wuggins is not under arrest, but we suggest that he not go on any long quests outside the Shire for the time being.' No further details on the investigation were available at press time, but several sources (including a high-ranking Nazgul) have suggested that a networked multiplayer game based on the J.R.R. Tolkien universe will be available sometime late next year."
Of course, to be able to uncover this kind of stuff you have to be pretty sharp. Keep your eyes open for patterns. Spot interlocking relationships. Determine the shape of things. That's why we spend so much time at Totally Tessellated, an online exhibit that explores the mathematic and creative principles behind repeating patterns of interlocking shapes, or tessellations. (The Dutch artist M. C. Escher created some of the world's most recognizable tessellations.) At the site, we learned (among other things) that equilateral triangles and squares tessell ate (no duh!), but pentagons do not. Read that again: "...but pentagons do not." Who do we all know who went to work in the Pentagon when things didn't work out at the White House? Exactly! You gotta be sharp about this stuff.
Speaking of which, we hear the White House is about to make a new announcement on the Lewinsky matter. Their latest point is that at no time during the entire affair were any of the immutable laws of physics violated. Should this make a difference? Darn toot in! After all, it's comforting to know that everyday activities (sanctioned or illicit) are at some level all subject to the same rules and regulations. For all the kinetic details, check out Physics of... You'll find an array of descriptions and diagrams, all relating to the basic physics of a simple sport or activity. At The Physics of Breakdan cing we learned that "The Windmill" is a good example of centripetal force in action. At The Physics of Dragracing we learned that force = mass x acceleration (and that flames painted on the side of a funny car don't significantly increase its traction).
There you have it--a look at what else is awry in the world. It's the kind of juicy stuff you'll seldom see mentioned in the mainstream media. But, spend enough time reading the opinion, ideas, and commentary collected in newspapers around the world, and you'll see we're on to something. Sure, Op/Ed pieces make you think about the more commonplace indiscretions du jour, but when was the last time you read any th oughts on real offenses, like the current outrage plaguing the government of Lizbekistan? Our thoughts precisely.
If you know of any timely, informative, or wacky web sites, please drop us a note. Also, feel free to send any general thoughts or comments about Picks.