Welcome to this week's selection of Picks, where we've learned how to poach an egg, patch a hole, open a coconut, fix a zipper, buy used skis and, last but by no means least, burp a baby. In short, we've studied up on everything they didn't teach us in school. Thanks to the folks at Learn2.com, you too can learn to - so to speak. You'll find a variety of terrific "2torials" at this site, "everything from the essentials of life to the esoteric, from the practical to the just plain fun." Great.
Furthermore - and here's the really important part - we learned that when it comes to Kathy Ireland, there's actually "much more than meets the eye." End of lesson.
As it happens, we also learned that Napoleon is more than just a dessert. But of Corsica, you already knew that. This truly amazing look at the life and times (and then some) of "the 'Little Corporal' and his illustrious nephew" was created by The Napoleon Foundation, "whose goal is to study and make known the civil and military achievements of the First and Second Empires." So. We perused the Foundation's impressive collection of online materials covering all things Napoleon. We strolled through an exhibition of Anti-Napoleon caricatures. We mused over the military genius in the site's Library. We came, we saw, we conquered - no wait, wrong guy.
Speaking of dessert, author/illustrator Bob Blumer (aka. The Surreal Gourmet) has a web site that "samples some of the unique elements from" his fun cookbooks. In his own words, they are "more than just cookbooks, they are a fresh attitude towards cooking and entertaining, a stimulant, and a guide to better living." Moreover, the Surreal Gourmet demonstrates that "dysfunctional kitchens, mismatched dinnerware and low budgets, can easily be overcome by a little creativity and an armful of fresh ingredients." This is all good and well. On the other hand, we just like pointing to a recipe for Pear & Camembert Quesadillas.
If creative in the kitchen is your thing, you'll certainly want to check in at Basal Metabolism. (Note: the site requires a Java-enabled browser.) Plug in your vital stats - weight, height, age, sex - then choose an activity - rest, light work, manual labor, etc. - and an applet will calculate your recommended daily dose of calories, grams of fat, protein, carbohydrates, et al.
Not interested in counting the calories? You'd rather stew in a potful of Friedrich Nietzsche Aphorisms? Fine. Go ahead. Just remember: "Sensuality often hastens the growth of love so much that the roots remain weak and are easily torn up." Don't you know?
Speaking of which, another dispatch from the shameless plug department: Yahoo! Washington, D.C. is now online. One of our growing number of regional properties, you'll find local web sites, news, community message boards, classified ads (for jobs, pets, cars, homes, lovers) and more. You know the scoop. Everything but the bureaucracy.
And now a break in our regular programming for a few words on kindness, from The Kindness Society.
Finally, a reflection: Ah, the web. A way to solve life's many problems. For example: You need to send something to your Honeypie. Something special for your little Lamb Chop. A way to say, "You're peachy," to your Cupcake. (Continue generating food-related terms of endearment at will, if you please.) The solution: Mail a Meal. As the title suggests, there's no better way to let 'em know: "You're the Lobster Thermodor of my life." Go ahead. Say it with asparagus.
Hey, it's either that or send a virtual prayer to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. Take your pick(s).