Hollywood is humming. Who will take home the Oscar? While the usual suspects are sure to receive their fair share of publicity, the Picks of the Week staff would rather focus on those with slimmer odds. And so, without further ado, we present some suggested Oscar nominations ...
Best Supporting Actress
Mayim Bialik in My Goofy Mom? Tempest Bledsoe in Losin' It 2000? Soleil Moon Frye in Manhattan Giggles ? Nope. This year's true darkhorse is Melissa Haglock of Building a Submarine. The triumphant story of college students who dream of building a functional submarine, and the subsequent realization of that dream, and the happiness that ensues as a result, Submarine is a near miracle. Hadlock steals the show as the feisty co-ed with a burning desire to breath underwater. A revelation.
Best Stunt Coordinator
Nick Nicolette received his first nomination for coordinating the stunts on Fire Diver, the story of aquatic daredevils who travel the world trying to be scooped up by fire helicopter buckets. Known for his no-nonsense demeanor, Nick says, "If I yell 'fire in the hole' it's because some chum-bucket didn't listen to me and got dropped on his freakin' head." What's next for the darling of the dropkick? Rumor has it he's in the running for the next Robin Williams vehicle tentatively titled The Kiwi Kid, the story of a zany sheepherder who befriends a precocious but misunderstood youth. Intriguing.
Best Hair and Make-Up Artist
For seven seasons, Miss Tina toiled in relative obscurity as the Hair and Make-Up Artist Assistant for the ABC sitcom Full House. However, Miss Tina's stock soared when Oliver Stone took notice of the fabulous work done on Bob Sagat's complexion and John Stamos' hair and tapped her for Any Given Sunday. Many industry insiders point to the two-part "Full House Visits Cuba ... with the Pope!" as the turning point for Miss Tina. "Bruises and bloodstains were a cakewalk after working with the Olsen twins," says the ever-hopeful nominee. Stunning.
Best Best Boy
This one's a no-brainer. Italian designer Eero Aarnio has produced some of the world's most distinctive furniture. His famous ball chair has appeared in numerous films, including Austin Powers, The Liquidator, and The Spy Who Loved Me. Now he generally works on the lighting crew, where he's quickly moved up the ranks from "Okay Boy" to "Solidly Above-Average Boy" to "Really Quite Good Boy" and finally, this year, graduating to "Best Boy." We think that Eero deserves the nod, not only for his steadfast ambition in tackling a second career, but because he has a whole lot of vowels in his name. Go, Eero, go!
Best Supporting Finnish Poetry Archivist
Year after year, the Academy embarrasses itself with its cursory selections in this category. They always go with the big names -- Joonas Sikkonen, Aino Sveaborg, Gesta Nilsson. If the nomination committee ever got off their collective duff and actually watched the films that celebrate folk poems from Finland then they'd have no choice but to put Elias Lonnrot at the top of the shortlist. Lonnrot's masterpiece is the seminal Kalevala, which offers folk poems that he collected on his many trips to the Finnish province of Kainnu. Get a clue, academy -- don't wait until Lonnrot is forced to do Lethal Weapon V to recognize his genius! Huzzah!
Best Soundtrack
Armed with dozens of distinctive voices from around the world, Orato hopes to edge out John Williams' score from the latest Bruce Willis vehicle, Donkey Down. Industry insiders say Donkey just can't match Orato's stunning tapestry of sound. An eclectic collection of first-person news pieces from around the world, Orato delivers a medley of unforgettable audio experiences: camels braying in the Sahara, buzz saws snarling in Northern California, grown-ups spanking each other in Manhattan, and much more. A triumph.
Lifetime Achievement Award
While many expected this year's Irving G. Thalberg statuette to go to Steve Guttenberg in recognition of the towering Police Academy decalogy, the award is going to the staff behind PBS Online's provocative new digital dalliance, Culture Shock. In trying to answer the eternal question, "Where do you draw the line in displaying art?", the site is designed to inspire critical thinking about art's role in pushing moral boundaries. Between the art of Kara Walker, the films of Leni Riefenstahl, and the gore of video game violence, audiences will find themselves intrigued and edified. Bravo.