8th-Grader's Civics Paper Reportedly "Just Vanished"
Mark Dubinski of Glendale, Arizona, suffered one of the most disturbing disasters in the Y2K meltdown. At the stroke of midnight, his mid-term essay on the American Civil Rights movement mysteriously disappeared. "One minute it was there and it was really awesome and there was a killer thesis sentence and supporting paragraphs and footnotes and everything. And then it was just gone." Crestfallen by the loss, Dubinski managed to turn in a hastily crafted diorama of images culled from the We Shall Overcome web site.
Pokemon Game Suffers Temporary Screen Dim
Tammy Janowitz, age nine, experienced a brief screen flicker on her portable Pokemon Happy Happy Fun Game. The victim was horrorstruck for almost three seconds, before full functionality returned to the brightly colored electronic gaming device. In a nearby computer room, her older brother Billy enjoyed the sights and sounds of 80's Cartoon Alliance, a remarkable compendium of animated heroes dating from the Reagan years. Billy "Old Skool" Janowitz quipped, "Pokemon is for punks. I'm keeping it real with Voltron."
Disorienting Y2K "Flashback" Strikes Unsuspecting Milwaukee Man
Todd Beezley, age 27, gazed in awe as the walls of his bedroom quivered, vibrated, and ultimately blended into a swirling whirlwind of pastel hues. Mr. Beezley described the experience as, "Totally horrifying. I thought the world was ending but then my lamp smiled at me and told me to relax." After several minutes of deep-breathing exercises, Mr. Beezley resumed playing CastleMouse 2000, a nifty new shockwave game where Tetris meets Tom and Jerry.
Voter Rolls in Chicago Struck by Date Problem
Chicago's usually reliable voter-registration department was shocked to learn that almost 800,000 deceased residents of the Windy City had been added to the active rolls. "We're looking into the matter," a spokesman said, "but it will be a lengthy process to confirm if those Chicagoans born between 1000 and 1900 are in fact deceased. We have to make absolutely sure we know who's alive and who's dead." Strangely, this Y2K bug didn't actually strike on New Year's Eve, but many months earlier, during a hotly contested local primary.
Pasteurized Milk Scare in Branson, Missouri
On new year's morning, Nicole Wilcox noticed that the milk in her Choco Pops seemed warmer than usual. Had a power failure occurred the night before, exposing thousands to dangerously warmed milk? Fortunately, no. The milk had been used earlier in the morning by her husband and hadn't been sufficiently re-chilled. Later at work, Nicole spent three hours browsing The Empty Bowl, a truly rocking zine devoted to cereal eaters across the globe.
Mothership Misconnection Almost De-Funktifies Dr. Funkenstein
At a fully-bumpin' New Year's Eve Concert, Dr. Funkenstein narrowly avoided being crushed by an out-of-control Mothership. Fortunately, the Star Child managed to halt the crash-landing vehicle with his bop gun. The funk was preserved, and the crowd grooved on. The incident was later memorialized in Lives, a massive collection of biography resources that includes detailed information on Amelia Earhart, Bootsy Collins, and others.
New Year's Eve Snapshots Marred by Annoying "Red Eye"
Matt Frondorf, the photographer behind the cool cross country photo collection Taken on the Road, was completely unprepared for the Y2K nightmare that awaited him on New Year's Eve. After taking some casual shots of friends at a fondue party, Frondorf was horrified to discover that the printed photos showed the party-goers' eyes emitting an unearthly red glow. "I guess I should have bounced the flash off the ceiling," Frondorf admitted. The able photographer says he's learned from his lack of Y2K preparedness, and vows to shun fondue parties forever.