The Friar Tuck
Is that Reese Witherspoon sporting a shorn pate? Could that be a tonsured Trent Reznor? The chrome dome is making a vigorous comeback since last being seen in fourteenth century Europe. As popularized by Hair: The Daily Fascination, the Friar Tuck takes the Benedictine look to a whole new level. Christian Slater was onto something in The Name of the Rose; the Friar Tuck has clippers buzzing across the nation. Benedictus Benedictat.
The Bush
Responding to the broad populist appeal of Presidential candidate George "Dubya" Bush, salons around the nation have begun to offer his no-nonsense, middle-of-the-road haircut. Some stylists complain that the conservative, short-cropped length is disturbingly ambiguous in light of the noticeable lack of a part, either to the right or the left. Decide for yourself at Campaign 2000, a video scrapbook from C-SPAN. You'll find several nice shots of the Bush, as well as coverage of the Liddy Lid and the Al-Fro.
The Podium
An ultra-secret group of hip-hop hitmakers (Snoop? Chuck? Missy?) has given their blessing to the latest cross-cultural styling craze. Called the Podium, a very tall fade, worn with a professional baseball cap perched jauntily atop, this cut is blowin' up all over. The superstar cabal has also started a website, releasing reports of celebrity Podium sightings from LL Cool J to Reggie Jackson to Melissa Joan Hart!. Snaps of the Podium can be seen on sites like Rap Station. Sure enough, from the East Coast to West Coast, the spotlight is on the Podium. Step up to the mic...
The Pooch Flip
Is that a dead Daschund strapped to Alyssa Milano's noggin? Nope, it's a pooch flip--a hairstyle that feels like a perm but looks like a dog. The Flip comes in three main flavors: Pinscher, Schnauzer, and Scottie. George Stephanapolous sports a specialty Shar Pei, while Liz Phair was spotted at this year's annual Corndog Festival in Dallas wearing a purple Lhasa Apso. Apparently Liz was enjoying the delightful array of corndog recipes, corndog-inspired music groups, and corndog-oriented historical dioramas. Now that's something to bark about.
The Border Guard
A little like a crewcut on steroids, the Border Guard cut is currently making a comeback. The favored style of fraternity pledges, American Gladiators, and East German military police had fallen on hard times. Why? Blame the fall of Communism, or perhaps the dismantling of the Berlin Wall. Happily, the chill is now thawing and you can spot menacing flat-tops on everyone from stockbrokers to elementary-school teachers. All together now: "Halt! Who goes there?"
The River Trout
The long-in-back, kinky-on-top River Trout combines the sass of the Bowl Cut and the old-school attitude of the Mullet. First observed on the runways of Milan, then popularized by the kids on Dawson's Creek, the curious thatch is quickly racing across America's suburbs. Hair technician Manny Avenco of the West Covina Supercuts says, "It's not an easy style. My fingers ache, and the kids never tip. The River Trout is the most challenging of all the fish styles."
The Bedhead
If fin de siecle America could be summed up by two things, it would have to be "computer privacy" and "lack of sleep." Quite simply, we've become a generation of tonsorially unkempt paranoiacs wandering the backroads of the information superhighway looking for industrial strength encryption software. Here's a prescription for the 21st Century, endorsed by both the National Security Agency and Vidal Sassoon: Visit Tales of the Encrypted to learn the history of privacy through technology. Then get yourself some styling gel. Problem solved...