Welcome to Behind the Music, where this week we look at the meteoric rise and humbling fall of one of the world's first boy bands, The Piccadilly Willies. The six original members of the Willies--Nigel B., Rory, Graham, Derek, Winston, and Nigel C.--were all born into middle-class families in Chelsea. They met while attending Breckinbrook Prep School and eventually began singing together outside London subway stations. Before long, they had a manager, a recording contract, and a catchy single climbing the UK charts, "Mind the Gap, Derek." Of course, that's when things got really interesting...
In June of 1967, the Willies appeared on Britain's top-rated variety show, Hop To It!, and the shaggy-haired youngsters quickly became a teen sensation, despite their clear inability to play musical instruments. Unfortunately, on their first American tour, revealing photos were posted on snapcity that showed the Willies politely enjoying a hotel stay in San Francisco. Of course, fans wanted to see evidence of wanton destruction and debauchery, which they'd come to expect from touring British rock stars. When the band returned to England, they were met at Heathrow by a paltry crowd, most of whom just shook their heads in disappointment.
Hoping to salvage their budding careers, the band planned to stage a spectacular comeback show in New York City's Central Park. Happily, the New York Department of Parks and Recreation was amenable to the idea, however rather than scheduling the concert in the park's famous Sheep Meadow, the show was booked into an abandoned munitions depot know as The Arsenal. Terrible acoustics and an antagonistic, drunken security staff scared away all but the heartiest fans. Expecting a crowd of 20,000, the Willies had pulled out all the stops, offering spectacular pyrotechnics, sexy go-go dancers, and K.C. and the Sunshine Band as an opening act. During the encore, the band announced that they were bankrupt, and closed the set with the mysteriously titled jam, "It's All Gabe's Fault."
The band continued to play and record, releasing a string of disappointing albums ("Gotcher Nose!," "Turn on the Happy Machine," and "Hey, Little Mister"), but as the '70s wore on, Nigel B. became increasingly disillusioned with the band. As the smallest member of the group, he was constantly harassed, slapped in the face, and kicked in the stomach by the five other lager-fueled Willies. Bloodied and indignant, Nigel B. exacted revenge by calling on his old chum Jack McCracken, the most feared bully at Breckinbrook Prep School, who soundly and viciously beat the five offending Willies. Unfortunately, pint-sized Nigel B. received six months in Her Majesty's Prison at Bullingdon for conspiracy to commit aggravated assault.
While Nigel B. served out his sentence, the other Willies recuperated from their injuries by consuming terrific amounts of alcohol. But the party ended when Winston, heading out to secure a case of gin and a lime, found an infant outside his front door. A note pinned to the child read, "Winston, This is your daughter. I hope you have plenty of nappies." After the initial shock wore off, the band members successfully worked together to raise the child and ultimately inspired the American film Five Talentless Men and a Baby. (A copy of the girl's official birth certificate can be found at National Archives Online Exhibit Hall.)
In 1987, Rory's drinking problem nearly broke up the band. Unlike the other Willies, who were able to drink like fishes and still perform two shows a night, Rory couldn't drink more that a single Tom Collins without losing consciousness. At a tour stop in New Orleans, Rory had a sip of Grand Marnier and disappeared for three weeks. He was reunited with the band only after Graham spotted him, bed-headed and glassy-eyed, in a tourist snapshot posted on The People's Photos. Upon his return, Rory called a press conference and vowed to stay clean and sober. However, it was clear to everyone that the promise was tenuous at best, since Rory was drinking frozen margaritas throughout the event.
Depite all their trials and tribulations, the Willies are still dedicated to their music. Battling the misconception that young audiences won't pay to see pop stars who are "pushing 50 and a tad overweight," the band has enjoyed a modest comeback of late. In the near future, fans will find feature stories on The Piccadilly Willies in Spud Farmer magazine and Scott McCloud's Online Comics. With a little luck, the boys from Chelsea--Nigel, Nigel, Graham, Rory, Derek, and Winston--will soon be selling out Madison Square Garden quicker that you can say: Gotcher nose!